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Apartment 3B

Buttermilk Baby | Ridiculous!, Comedy | 1 comment

His leg twitched slightly and he ran his tongue across the cloven surface of his upper lip. He blinked once or twice and continued to lay there. Motionless. Basking in the warm, ruby glow of the neon light from across the alley. It was the nightlight banner to the Chinese food restaurant, mere feet from his window; the "Harvest Moon." The light massively plagued all the "B" apartments on floors one through four. It would have cut a normal soul to shreds, but there was never anything ...

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Home of the Dead 4 (I, Protector)

1922-1993 | Serious, Mystery | 1 comment

Patrick grew obsessed with eliminating treachery from the music business; truly a man immersed in good cause. 1922-1993 garnered severe media coverage for his crusade when, in an unprecedented socio-political maneuver, he lit three dead birds on fire. Thrilled with enthusiasm/raging peckers, I started a fanzine called "1922-1993: THE BASTARD OF THE CENTURY, HE'S SO HOT." / I had one subscriber and I was swamped, so I fully staffed my zine-quarters with kidnapped Chinese three-year ...

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Home of the Dead 4 (Sanchez Erectus, a.k.a. Mega)

1922-1993 | Serious, Drama | 0 comments

The search for undeniable freedom/liberty continued/led us to heresy/jobs as postal workers. This was a special way for 1922-1993 and me to bone up on our mail bombs, off the gaydar. I'd come into contact with a few twinks named Obis and Richard, who had a rock super-group called "Shrouded in Darkness/Shrouded in Mysteries." At this point, I realized the slashes were getting out of hand, so I abandoned the aforementioned tendencies in favor/honor of music with a message. / Firstly, we ...

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Home of the Dead 4 (Roasted Chicken)

1922-1993 | Serious, Horror | 0 comments

Exhausted from an entire life of pain/misery, Patrick and I started up a construction company. We spent months/minutes creating/agonizing over a company name that succeeded in reaching a vast demographic: "Sexual offerings in Conjunction with Lamb Slaughter Construction Men." / We hired an army of Slavic peoples and broke ground with two sticks of dynamite in a Euro-Blacker family's mailbox. Business was business, and the busy season was wrought with tragedy/sex. In other words, our ...

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Home of the Dead 4 (Black Metal)

1922-1993 | Serious, Romance | 3 comments

Here's the thing about being in an orgy; you can't be unsure when it comes to swapping bodily fluids. That kind of hesitation can cost you your life, and/or the life of your best friend, 1922-1993 (a.k.a. Patrick). Furthermore, Patrick and I went out to dinner, and I mean we ordered the steaks...medium rare, like well done...Pittsburgh. So I'm trying to dine, and the fucking waitress dumps a pint of lager right in the toilet. Like I said, we were in the ladies' room ...

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Home of the Dead 4 (Preamble)

1922-1993 | Serious, Drama | 2 comments

The year is six hundred. The year is nineteen slash four. The year is also two thousand three (the worst year ever). The boardwalk is rotting and loaded with hunks. My boyfriend is a seagull. I'd been pretending to drink beers (ocean water) for two hours and was wrecked, like a pheonix wearing red sun glasses, who was wrecked. I stumbled (more like materialized) into the arcade and immediately felt the energy from a girl's crotch. / / "Oh," I spake, "I can feel the ...

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This is TECHNICOLOR

Shitwincer | Ridiculous!, Comedy | 2 comments

I am TECHNICOLOR, rival and arch-nemesis of the common folk, / I don't flush, and I will always give you cancer. Armed with my trusty capped Chevy Conquista, / and an infinite set of Teflon frying pans, we ride the skies and are worshipped / by half of Norway. My origin is quite a / tale, one not audible in American tongue, but there's involvement of owls / mating, and several, several games of strip poker with Ronald Regan. My smack is so fresh; I turn newborns to / prostitution, ...

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The Fight Before Christmas (Part 1)

Cardboard Warmachine | Ridiculous!, Action, Comedy | 0 comments

Twas the night before Christmas / and twas nary a sound / save for Santa's derision / as he spat on the ground. / His fat ass was tied / with great skill to a chair / as he stared down the muzzle / of a kodiak bear. / The beast on a chain / was held back by a man / with a patch on his eye / and a gun in his hand. / Aside from this villian / stood two other men, / a short one in workboots; / with a pad and a pen / The other stood tall / with a boxcutter knife, / waving a picture / of Santa ...

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Apartment 3A

Buttermilk Baby | Ridiculous!, Comedy, Romance | 3 comments

"My life is anguish, my life is blood, I am Weeping Willow," or so his MyFace profile proclaimed. He frequented the online friends forum so much he had lost all use for a social life. In his opinion it wasn't gone, it was just digital, like everything else is in this day and age. But the truth was with the exception of school and an occasional AFI concert, he only left his apartment for six hours in the last two months. And that was when he was performing his time behind the wheel ...

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Apartment 4A

Buttermilk Baby | Ridiculous!, Comedy, Drama | 6 comments

Shynikki21: my neighbor is a filthy whore / hornyXcav8tor: hot / Shynikki21: no, its disgusting / hornyXcav8tor: ur turning me on. / Shynikki21: ... / hornyXcav8tor: lets see em :) / She sighed slightly and adjusted the small camera mounted to her monitor. She pulled her pink t-shirt up over her head and threw it to the floor. She took one last second to see if maybe he'd stop her from going any further. But in the six months she'd been at this "new job" of hers no one ...

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