Writings » Starwars

Everyday I eat gravy with a side of ranch dressing. As it pirouettes like a dewdrop about my homesick for blistex lips, gravity steals tender morsels, and how they plummet into the depths of my corduroy slacks.  I'm like, damn, I sure wish they made a bib for my pants, so I began to dream of space clams & 747 jumbo jets, and the funny children they would one day have.  I don't like hospital food, it makes me jittery on the inside. all that sweet, sweet msg and nowhere to go but down.  I have stage fright for bedpans,so I'm forced to hold it to the soft wiggle of this gelatin temptress.  I quietly stop, drop, and roll; with the intent of John McClane, and the grace of Laurie Beth Dimburg.  Why is Keenan on SNL? Isn't he sad that he broken up one of Hollywood's most lovable couples?  I am in a quandary with nothing but captain crunch in one sleeve, and ghost meat in my larger hand.  I ponder the theories of how pop culture actually influenced Reagan to name a government lazer project after a movie with an 8 foot hairy man that whines all day.  That's what you get for giving a cowboy a fancy suit. We all dance like fools to Rick Astley when no ones looking, don't you deny it!

Love,
Alan Rickman
AKA the voice of Megatron