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Dear Johnny #2
By Mullanaphy! at 2008-10-30 | Ridiculous!, Comedy, Drama | Printable version
« Dear Johnny #1
As most of the world probably already knows I used to have an ungoing help article section to help out troubled youths with their problems. Much like Dear Abby but actually useful. Heres an example, more to come!
Dear Johnny,
I've been having a serious problem. Everywhere I go, people want to know, who I am, so I must tell them. It gets very very annoying to have to constantly tell them. What should I do? Please suggest suicide.
Signed Depressed in NJ
Dear Depressed in NJ,
Sure committing suicide sounds like it should be cool. But the truth of the matter is that sort of behavior should be left for emo andor goth kids only. Everyone else should man up and join the winning team. Thats the team of beating up homeless people. So find one, beat the crap out of him, and than make sweet passionate love (with the homeless person is fine but I suggest you find a floozy).
Signed Johnny
Posted by Anonymous Jerk #186 at 2008-11-05
This advice worked for me too, twice!
Posted by Mullanaphy! at 2008-11-06
Sweet, always good to know I'm helping out.
Posted by knifeboy at 2009-01-31
they're starting to fight back...
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