Writings » Home of the Dead 4 (Reinhard Tasty)

    Feeling like a wretched spawn/useless victim, I took it upon myself to make 1922-1993 the supper of a lifetime.  I started by washing my filthy hands, only to molest four children in a row, vigorously.  Without missing a beat, I added a cup and a half of half and half, plus one entire bag of stale, shitty sour cream and onions. 
    "Out of my kitchen, you fucking coward!"  I screamed.  "You'll ruin my roast."    Patrick was peeking, and I was in no mood for tricks (or dicks), so I jammed a metal fork into the electrical socket (a.k.a. Patrick's butthole) and electrocuted the problem to a burnt little wiener of anguish/treachery.  He queefed in approval (that's compliments to the chef, ballface), and so did the panel of judges - awarding me a giant cardboard check for six dollars and my own cooking show.  Anyway, Patrick hated his dinner and banned my mouth from his mouth, indefinitely.  However, let's just say I lifted the ban a few hours later with a sneak attack blowjob and a surprise visit from the pizza delivery man.