Writings » Home of the Dead 4 (I, Protector)

    Patrick grew obsessed with eliminating treachery from the music business; truly a man immersed in good cause.  1922-1993 garnered severe media coverage for his crusade when, in an unprecedented socio-political maneuver, he lit three dead birds on fire.  Thrilled with enthusiasm/raging peckers, I started a fanzine called "1922-1993: THE BASTARD OF THE CENTURY, HE'S SO HOT." 
    I had one subscriber and I was swamped, so I fully staffed my zine-quarters with kidnapped Chinese three-year olds.  When my smarties realized I couldn't pay them, they stormed me johnson with dueling cheese graters, wiffleball bats and pitchforks, respectively.  After they killed me, I gave them true warrior names and put them through college (a.k.a. I tied bricks to their ankles and threw them in a river).