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Kyle Johnson
By One Armed Ninja at 2007-11-13 | Suspense | Printable version
| Hi, my name is Kyle Johnson. This is my story. One day late last summer I was walking home from school and some older boys tricked me. Those ol' boys tricked me good they did. They said they found a wild panda and it needed milk and a warm pair of pants. They took me into a near by shed. The taller of the three boys said "take off you pants or the panda will freeze to death." "Ba..ba ba but it's 95 degrees out." I replied. He smacked my face hard and said, "Fuck yeah it is, so get undressed!" I bolted for the door, but they tackled me to the ground. They started to undress and I saw they had little pandas of their own. They cut my clothes off with a switch blade and asked, "If you could be any animal what would you be?" I looked into their eyes, then quickly bit and punched two of their Fruit Loops. The 3rd boy grabbed for my junk and yelled, "Gimmie your juices! I need to sing like Rod Stewart!" I frickin' dove through a window and ran down the street with my sauce factory swinging at the crowd, screaming. Screaming because shards of glass were all over my naked body. Half way to my house a panda wrestled my to the ground trying to make love to back-vag. I bit his throat out, but was soon arrested for killing and indangered species. | ||
Posted by Lash Leroux at 2007-11-15
Literary genius...
Posted by Anonymous Jerk #60 at 2007-11-18
Oh man. He should've just bit the bullet and than their privates.
Posted by Anonymous Jerk #118 at 2008-03-05
Ewiiiie
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